When I woke again to life there was movement in my chest, like energy flowing lightly and without effort, and then it felt like lightning went through my brain and my consciousness became clear and my first thought was ‘it was nothing, still there was life, that is the truth and that is me’.
I had vanished into nothing and when I came back, I experienced myself as nothing, truth and life, plain, simple and true.
And thus was transformed my view of life, so I began to write down how the world appeared to me with all its diversity.
This experience became the foundation which appears everywhere in my life and all my writings. Some call it emptiness, but I gave it the name ‘nothing’ and sometimes ‘it’ because that is exactly what it is, nothing.
It is nothing that contains everything. Everything is created out of nothing.
It is impossible to understand or know ‘it’. I tried to put it into a simple system for myself to understand, separating it into small parts as nothing, truth, love, life, the moment, the universe and us, and I thought that by combining it again, I would have a better overview, some sort of understanding of it.
But it is not possible to disassemble it, combine, understand, buy or sell it. ‘Nothing’ is. It is not here, not in one way or another, it only is.
We find it very difficult to understand nothing, because we always try to make us some sort of image of it and then it becomes something and nothing is not something.
We believe that we understand everything, because we think we know everything and thereby it is fitted at one place. And although we know that everything is much more than what we know, then we limit it to our knowledge and let it be enough.
Then we turn our attention to defining the moment, as love, truth, life, universe, space, planets, earth, ourselves and other living beings, all of this which was created in nothing, and is in nothing, at the same moment.
For me, it is obvious that everything has to come from nothing, both what I am and I can think of, and the other that I have no understanding of, or idea about.
Everything originates there. It could not be different. Not one by one, but all simultaneously. Here and now. Complete.
We say ‘the moment is the only reality because the past is gone and it no longer exists and the future is yet to come and does not exist, except as an idea or expectation’. We also say, ‘the truth is life and we are the truth and life’ and we finish by saying ‘all this is the void or the emptiness, nothing’.
But we find it very difficult to understand and accept nothing. To experience all as nothing, that everything is created from nothing, and to be nothing, is for us equally difficult to understand as the term indefinitely.
We say ‘the world is endless’ and at the same time we try to make us an image of endless. But it goes without saying that there exists no form of endless. Image is the end and if we create an end what is outside it? If we create an answer to that, what is beyond that? And so on.
The same goes for nothing, it is impossible to think of nothing because to think is something.
And that is exactly what we do. We will not accept the reality as nothing, ourselves as nothing, so we think of something, no matter what.
The moment as nothing for ever, is equally difficult to understand. We find it difficult to imagine the moment without a past and future. We were, after all, once children and are now adults, and we have survived all kinds and have plenty to come, at least death.
Many then try to create series of moments. Now at this moment, I am writing these words and it is the only reality; then I lay it from me and then it is no longer, I will go and get me something to eat and it is the only reality; I then go out and it is the only reality.
One moment and then another moment and another moment. We find it difficult to let go of all the ideas and just experience the moment, the emptiness, nothing. Actually see the moment for what it is. Without all.
The moment is not a series of events, a series of moments. Moment means that I have never been and never will be, which means, I am.
The fact that I am here and now equals that everything belonging to me is also here and now, not before, not after, but here and now in this moment it all is. I am.
This means that we are born and die, and everything in between, at the same moment, in the same moment. Everything is in this one moment.
We can really know all of our existence since the beginning and to the end, if we want, because it is all in the moment. We are in fact both alive and dead, children and adults, happy and sad, safe and frightened. All our existence is happening at the same moment. We are all in the same moment. Here and now.
Can we not feel the sanctity of it and power?
At first it seems freedom thus is gone, everything happens at the same moment so our existence must be pre-determined. Everything happens at the same time so everything is unchangeable. I see where I am in the moment and then all the past has already created the rest.
It would be right, provided that it is only possible to be in one place at a time, in the moment, but not alive in all, at the same time. If so the moment would be restricted to the past, the future and me and then be very limited. But it is not so.
We are in fact always changing the moment, filling the moment, live in all ages, in the same moment.
And not only the individual but the universe. In the beginning of 9th chapter, “We want to be Gods” I say:
“Exactly at this moment, while we read these words, there are people all over the world doing something. Some are on their way to work and others on the way home from work. Some are going to sleep while others are waking up. Children are born and others dying. Some people are born into poverty and poor conditions, while others enjoy plenty. Some die from diseases while others die of old age, are murdered or die of starvation. Australians receive summer while Scandinavians receive winter. The earth rotates around itself on the journey through space like millions of other planets, suns and stars in countless galaxies.
This does not happen one by one, but all at once. Now at this moment this all happens.”
We understand this section, because I set it up as number of various events, all kinds of people, all over the world, doing all sorts of things. But if we change the picture and turn it to ourselves, then we and all, are alive, in the nothing, at the same moment.
Nothing can hold everything, not just my little existence or your little existence, but all at the same moment, also the freedom to change, anywhere in the moment, no matter what name we give it.
And at the exact moment as we leave everything and are aware in the moment all is complete. All the fragments we have been dealing with unite in one. “And behold it was very good” (Genesis 1:31).
It is an incredible moment and at the same time simple and correct. ‘It’ is all there is. Nothing more.