39. WHO AM I?

Sooner or later we will face the question “who am I,” and go in different directions to look for answers.  Some turn to religions, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, etc. and consequently give themselves to God, in one form or another.  Others turn to theosophy and mysticism and discover meditation and learn that maybe they can approach the almighty with a still mind, so they put on a lot of effort and other activities, to stop the thought and so quiet the mind.
Some rely on science with its ever changing facts, and thus could we find endless ideas to turn to, the possibilities are many and varied.  We do all kinds of strange things in the hope of finding the answer to this question.

Many leave it at that, delusions, in the form of religion, meditation, exercise, and other systems, and ideas, satisfy their needs for importance, so they do not seek any further.
Others find that none of this is useful to them, no matter which path they choose, nothing seems to satisfy their needs.  There is always something missing.
Why, are they not satisfied?  Why does their effort not benefit them?  Why, can they not find what they are looking for?

The reason is quite simple, there is no me there to do something.  No me that can give itself to God, no me to stop the thought, no me to do what it takes to find the answer.
The me is an illusion, an idea, we have created from our experiences and knowledge, such as the ideas that we have created for each other and all.  Nothing else.

We only need to look around us, at our family and others, to see this image creation.  We are not the same in all minds.  We are not the same in the minds of our spouses and children, friends and strangers.  Why?

We can say that we act not quite the same with all these people, so people get to know different aspects of our behavior, and therefore we are not the same in the minds of all.  But it is not right, our spouse gets to know us also in our relationship with the children, and the children see our interactions with strangers.  Why are we then not the same in their minds?

The main reason is that others create images of us in their minds; based on the relationship they have with us, as well as what is contained in their own world of ideas, their experiences and knowledge.
So it is, others take the stimuli that we send from us, and create from it images of us, in their minds, and we become fun, intensive, comfortable, bossy, smart dumb, or whatever else people can think of.  The image is still always and exclusively in accordance with the beliefs and knowledge of those who create it, to which they have earned through experiences and learning, the image is actually of themselves and not us.
It is a fact, when we create images in our minds, images of everyone and everything, they are always of ourselves and have nothing to do with the other.

The image creation focuses not only from us but also to us, we are in fact an image, created by ourselves, for ourselves, based on our experiences and knowledge, and in our mind we have given the image the name me, it is me who is obedient, me that is bossy, me that seeks answers, me who believe in God and me who practice meditation, always me and something else.

If we look at ourselves, we see that everything we have tried, tested, read and learned, merge into one image that we call me.
This image creation begins at birth.  From the beginning we are told that we are all sorts of everything and should be different, at least sometimes, we have to be good, obedient and not selfish and jealous, we should be positive and not negative, etc.  And around all this we are and are not, we create gradually images in our minds, of ourselves, which we call me, and thereafter it is all about the me.
When we grow older and then see that we are nothing like these images and even nothing like what we have been told, then instead of rejecting all ideas of ourselves, we create different ideas, images, of ourselves, our own ideas about ourselves, and we create them based on our experiences and learning.

The process is basically always the same. We read or see a delightful book or film that elicits tears and we are sensitive.  We get difficult projects and deliver them from us with honor and we are smart.  We are offended and happy, or just something else.  Always something.
But it is still we who determine what is sensitive and what is smart, and we do it according to our ideas, which are in our minds, created by us, for us, about us.  And so the me grows until it has become so large that it dominates the whole of our existence.
We really believe that there is some me there, within us and outside us, some kind of middle that everything is based on, me and the pain, me and emotions, me and life.  We really believe that there is a me, which has actual existence within us and outside, apart and without the body.

The me, which is in fact created from our experience and learning, has taken first place in our lives and all our being is about satisfying its demands and needs.
But the me has no reality.  It is a fact, the me is a thought, an idea, which was created in accordance with our experiences and knowledge and everything else that can be found in our brain.  The me is an old memory.  Nothing else.

Why do we hold so tight onto the idea me, when we could so easily get rid of it?  Because it is possible, to get rid of the me, all that is needed is decision and performance.
Each one has to view himself.  We peel of the world that we have built around our existence, we peel it of layer for layer until nothing is left but the core, whether it is something or nothing.
But we have to be careful.  We must not judge what we see, good or bad.  We must not say “yes, that is it,” or “no, this I will not,” because as we judge, we are strengthening the me.  Then the me is remarkable, bad and sometimes good.  We only look and let go.  That is all.

We can start with our loved ones, what we believe we know about them, we look at our parents, spouses and children and see how they are only images in our minds.  We know in fact nothing about them, what we believe we know are only our ideas about them.  So we gather from us our world, our families, all our opinions, ideas and beliefs.  Everything.  Also the me.  We cannot exclude anything.

We sometimes hear about the many ways to the truth, which all lie to the same spot.  This is not right, there is no way to truth, because we cannot approach the truth.  The truth can approach us, rise up within us and it happens the same way for all people, at all times.  When all is viewed, then we let go of it.  There is no method, no process, nothing we can read or learn, it is just something we do.  We simply let go of the ideas.  And when everything is gone then we will appear, then we see who we are or what we are, the living being behind all images, truth.

But we must know that there is no reward in leaving everything.  No prizes.  We do not become something.  Enlightened.  We will not acquire something.  God.  It, to leave everything, is nothing more than what the words say; when all is gone there is nothing left.  Then we are nothing.  It is the truth, it is life and it is we.  That is all.

But at the same time we must know that being nothing is absolute freedom.  Anyone who is nothing, has nothing to lose, neither assets nor importance, matter or spirit.  He has nothing to fear.  And the one who has no fear is at peace with himself and at the same time all people and everything else.  Being nothing is peace.  Nothing else.