22. HUMILITY IS A LIE

... thus it is ...

… thus it is …

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the words humble, nobility and gracious are the stories by Charles Dickens, about the poor widows and orphans, who have nothing and meet a humble and gracious man who promises them gold and green forests, but steals from them their last penny.  There is little nobility in it.
But of course humility is much more than that, but still can there be found mixed morality, good and evil and not only towards others but also ourselves.

We are nonetheless taught to have and show a moderate estimation of our own talents, abilities, and value and are considered better men for it.  But the reality is, to live in humility is to live in a lie.  And then I mean humility of reducing the excellence of what we have at hand.

If we do something well and behave accordingly and do not conceal our satisfaction, even welcome it, then we are consistent to ourselves.  We show our true nature.
If, however, we try to reduce the excellence of what we do, hide our satisfaction, and thus show modesty, we are inconsistent to ourselves, we hide what we are, behind the mask of meekness.  And that is a lie.

We do not need to be humble, noble, gracious or other, just honest.  Straightforward, honest, consistent and true to ourselves, all these things we so rarely are, because we are so small inside us, and need masks to hide ourselves behind, and also compliments and caresses and awards and reassurance about our own excellence.

More often than not, the environment requires that we are inconsistent and dishonest with ourselves.
We are still small when we start getting shame for being as we are, consistent to ourselves.  “Thus you say not, one can often refrain from telling the truth” get many children to hear, when they, in their innocence and integrity, tell the truth.  And then come lessons in white lies and half-truths.
Gradually we learn it all.  To say not, to avoid trouble.  To sift out what we may and may not say to keep in popularity.  To lie for fear of judgment and rejection of those who we believe we cannot do without.
And so an individual is created, which is completely inconsistent, confused and frightened, not daring to be himself.

All the confusion that exists in our environment and in fact the entire world, wherever one looks, need not surprise us.
The world is in perfect harmony with ourselves, famine, bodybuilding, beauty contest, best, pollution, war, nature, life policies, divorces, murder, politics, abuse, accidents, football games, disease, health, hormones, first place, fashion, and thus we could go on indefinitely.  All this and much more is in perfect harmony with us, because all this we are.

It is this that we are and do and give of ourselves, and not only to the environment for us to struggle in, but this is also the existence that we deliver to our children.  Legacy of old age to youth.

We force the lies on the next generation, in the same way as was done to us.  So it has been, from one generation to another for centuries.  So it will continue until we dare to stop it and be ourselves.  Up until we stop and say, so far and no further.  Never more.

Why do we not stop here and now, at this moment, not tomorrow, not later when the circumstances are more suitable for us, but here and now?  Why do we not accept ourselves, here we are, so we are, neither better nor worse, just like this and so we will be and nothing else?
See we not that to live in humility is to live a lie?

It would however be better to give up all humility and also the pleasure that lies behind it.  Although we certainly can, here and now, lay down the restrictions that prevent us from being consistent to ourselves, happy and proud or unhappy and not proud, if that is the situation, then we must not fall into the trap of believing it, to be self-consistent, will make us something, glad, scared, free from ourselves, happy, unhappy, something.
For what is the difference in satisfaction and dissatisfaction?  None.  Satisfaction and dissatisfaction is in fact one and the same, an illusion, a direct consequence, something happens and we will be satisfied, something else happens and we become dissatisfied, depending on how we feel every time.  That is all.

If it is a freedom that we desire, we must dare to be ourselves, the being behind the image, and it we find in the truth.  It is the truth that makes us free from all nonsense.  To live free from ourselves and others, ideas and illusions, we need to know ourselves.  Not only the surface but also what is behind the image.  We have to find that we are hiding.
For is it not obvious that we are that which is invisible?  Well, perhaps not obvious, yet it is what we are, invisible.

It is a fact that what we do not say, is what dictates what we say.  It is arrogance which gets us to show humility.
He who conceals his delight is in fact equally happy as he who does not conceal it, he only shows it not.  It is still there, hidden behind the mask of meekness.
What we do hide, controls in fact our actions.

Why do we not eliminate all restrictions here and now?  What prevents us to stand alone and be what we actually are, whatever it is?  Not only proud or humble, so and so.  Not something.  But what lies behind everything.  The truth behind the image.

Perhaps we do not know about the possibility at first.  But when we know, what do we do?  Nothing.  We close our eyes and move on like nothing has happened, and show humility and boasting, each one according to his own little world, our own little, beautiful worlds of ideas that must not be disturbed.

We dare not let go of the image and be.  It is a fact.  It is fear that prevents us.  Fear of standing alone.  Fear of being nothing.  So we continue to lie and call into the void.
This fear we then hand to the next generation.  And everything stays the same.  Famine, beauty contests and other human grief.
Yet we are just that.  Alone and nothing.  Do we not see the freedom of it?

We are all, each one, locked in our own little world.  No one can come into our world and we cannot leave.
We are solely and entirely our own, without reference to anything or anyone.  We are neither like this nor that, neither one nor another.  Nothing.  And he who is nothing has nothing to lose, no matter, spirit or some other we can think of.  He has nothing to fear and he who has nothing to fear is at peace with both himself and others.  He is peace.  Being nothing is peace, which is freedom.

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