Abigail: Much has been said and written about the will, and many a man has made himself a great effort to be considered to have a strong will. But I tell you dear Hiramia, the will is by nature evil. It is our barrier, restraint and superfluous.
Hiramia: Do you think my dear Abigail that you can throw out statements like this, knowing that it is contrary to all recognized? Or do you perhaps not know that will is all we need? How can you say that the will is evil and unnecessary?
Abigail: I have heard all about it my dear Hiramia. But let us not believe unconditionally what is said, but rather review it together and see if you cannot see I am right.
Hiramia: All right dear Abigail. Let us pass all our learned ideas and the values of society and look at what you have to say.
Abigail: It is clear that we have given the will exaggerated importance in life? We see strong and powerful will as something positive as we see weak and lack of will as something negative. As you yourself mentioned “will is all we need,” we can add phrases like, “we only have to want”, “use your willpower”, you can if you just want to “etc. All these well known terms we hear so often. We seem to see the will as something inevitable, an independent living force, outside and independent of ourselves that we cannot survive without. We seem to believe if we had no will we would sit passive and completely ineffective in some corner. It is of course the greatest misconception.
Hiramia: Certainly, we look at will as a positive force. How are you going to pass will? Is it not a fact that will is the force that makes us to better people? Society rewards strong will. Is a person lacking willpower not a useless person? Abigail: I am not entirely sure about that my dear Hiramia, you know as well as I that society encourages in many ways lack of will, or as some say obedience. And I want to ask, is it ever necessary to change what is to what is not. It is, in fact flight from reality, because reality is always what is.
Hiramia: But should it not be our goal in life to change and improve the current situation? And is it possible without looking ahead in comparison to what has already been? Is it not called learning from experience? All of our efforts in this direction are of course primarily to benefit us and all humanity. Desire we all not peace on earth? It can hardly be considered other than good, my dear Abigail.
Abigail: My dear Hiramia, we do not need will to do anything. It is not the will which causes the rotation of the earth. It just rotates. And the same goes for all we face. Children do not want to grow. They only grow. We do not want to be hungry. We just are hungry. If our will ruled then no one would die because we all want to live but still we die. We do not want war and starvation but still we have both. If the will was all that is needed both would disappear. We cannot actually not act or do anything, out of will. We have only taught ourselves to believe we do. In some cases, will is only pointless words. We say one thing and mean another. Perhaps we confused will with choosing, thinking, longing and etc., but more often than not we dare not to say our minds. In other cases we seem to see it as something negative, to do only to do, without any desire or will. So we hide our actions behind desires, obligations and will.
Hiramia: But does will not remain as necessity. Can you truly say otherwise?
Abigail: Is not an act which is only a desire, duty or will not without love? Love can never be anybody’s desire, obligation or will. Love stands alone. Without all.
Hiramia: I can agree to that my dear Abigail.
Abigail: We are then in agreement on this, my dear Hiramia that if we care for our children, associate with each other, or engaged in our work, etc. because of obligations then love is far away? It is not until we lay down obligations, desire, want and will love prevail?
Hiramia: Yes, I have to accept that.
Abigail: Can you recognize my dear Hiramia that the will is not what is, but always what is to be based on what was?
Hiramia: I’m not sure I understand what you mean my dear.
Abigail: I mean we never want what we have, whether it is physical or emotional, but always something that we see before us in the undefined future. And we see it compared to what was.
Hiramia: Yes, I recognized that my will is directed to what does not already exists. And of course my wish should come true. And I certainly shape it according to what I already know, which may well be called what once was.
Abigail: You can then also recognized that it can never be more than an illusion? Because what was and will be does in fact not exist. The past is gone its way and no matter how we wish to be able to bring it back again it is not possible. It no longer exists. We have our memories of what once was. Nothing more. The future is likewise only in our minds. We create ourselves images of something that we can possibly have coming. That is all. Reality is always in the moment. What is. The will is therefore an escape from reality.
Hiramia: Yes it is quite clear. But it does not make the will bad or unnecessary. And do we have other choices my dear Abigail? Is it not a fact that man can never be free while he wants both a roof over his head and clear sky and the two do not go together.
Abigail: This in itself is quite right. To want a roof over ones head and clear sky is inconsistent and that is conflict. But it is not roof over ones head, clear sky and the inconsistencies between them that prevent us from being free. We focus on the consequences and instead of the will which is really the force that prevents our freedom.
Hiramia: Wait a minute dear Abigail, this you will have to clarify.
Abigail: Is it not clear my dear Hiramia that while we want something we will flee reality and escaping from reality can never be freedom?
Hiramia: Of course we do not direct our will to what already exists. It would be useless my dear Abigail.
Abigail: Then we agree, my dear Hiramia, that to want something is conflict, whether our want or will is directed to one or two items, to wanting a roof over ones head or both a desire for roof and a clear sky. And we may well know that conflict in each individual is war, though in small extent, that sooner or later is directed into the environment.
Hiramia: I can accept that.
Abigail: You can then also recognized that freedom always lies in what it is? Or is it not obvious that he who is free sees what is? He does not need a roof over his head or clear sky. He wants neither.
Hiramia: Certainly, certainly, dear Abigail.
Abigail: We say therefore, my dear Hiramia, that the free man is satisfied with what is, and will therefore not want something else.
Hiramia: This I accept completely, for I do not see a reason to want something else if I am satisfied with the current object or situation. But the goal remains to use the will to change and improve the state of human civilization. What you are saying seems to me to be the same as we can never be free. That we are doomed to be dependent on want or will from one to another, on a eternal flight from what is.
Abigail: I will not admit that. Or is it not clear that what we want is totally irrelevant? It does not matter whether we want a roof over our head, clear sky, or both or maybe something else. To want to change from one to another does not matter. Whether we want to lose weight, quit smoking or quit some habit, changing from one to another, does not erase the habit. To get rid of what the will is directed at is no solution. It is the will itself, which is the problem. The will promotes status quo. It directs attention to the habit and gives it strength, and thereby prolongs its days. It is in fact not until we lay down the will that we can act, do something. The will itself must disappear.
Hiramia: I can see the truth in what you say, my dear Abigail. But the will must however be more important than to disappear as nothing?
Abigail: As far as I can see the will has a no independent existence apart from and independent of us. It is just an idea created by ourselves and an idea cannot do anything. For implement to take place the idea has to disappear. The will is really in the way of full implementation. The will is by nature evil. And it refers to evil as harm or distress. It, as indeed all the other illusions, is the creative force that maintains both the starvation and war situation and other human tragedy. And is only a problem we had better be without. And we therefore should rid ourselves of.
Hiramia: Now I am a bit confused my dear Abigail. How are you going to approach this non-will situation?
Abigail: We must ask what stands in the way of us freeing ourselves from the power of the will. When the will is gone what is left? Nothing. The will is an illusion and when the illusion is gone then there is reality. And the reality is the moment, which is really neither one nor another, nothing, and that we cannot accept. We seem to have great trouble understanding and accepting the ‘nothing’. To experience everything as nothing, that everything is created out of nothing and to be nothing is to us as difficult to understand as endlessly.
Hiramia: What on earth do you mean?
Abigail: We say “the world is endless” and at the same time we try to create an image of how endless looks. But it goes without saying that there can be no image of endless. Image is an end and if we such create an end what is beyond that? If we create an answer to that, what is then beyond that? And so on, and so on. The same goes for nothing. It is not possible to imagine nothing because to think and imagine is something. And that is exactly what we do. We cannot accept reality as nothing, ourselves in the moment, as nothing, so we think of something. Just anything, no matter what.
Hiramia: I can see endless and nothing as a problem for people. But what does that change?
Abigail: We cannot know we are nothing. We can only be it. Knowing is something. He who is nothing needs nothing, either to know, be or want. He just is what he is. Therefore he cannot give it name, which is to know, until after and then it is only a memory, something that was.
Hiramia: So what has this to do with the will my dear Abigail? Are we perhaps reached out for the topic?
Abigail: No my dear Hiramia, we are still with the same topic. Because while it is not enough to be, without all, we are at the power of a delusion we have named will and then we are in constant disagreement with ourselves and the environment. The will is an escape from what is and a man on the run is not a free man
Hiramia: We are agreed about that my dear Abigail, the will is escape from what is and thereby restraint.
Abigail: Then you can also see my dear Hiramia, that the result of our discussion is that the will is by nature evil. It is flight from reality and at the same times our prison and destroyer of peace. To find freedom and peace we have to dare to let go, whether we call it will or something else. We must dare to be in the moment, which is the only reality; which is nothing. When we dare to let go of the will we live in the moment. Then we are the moment. Nothing. Then we want nothing. Then we just are.