Here I was handed excerpts from the book IN SEARCH OF THE MIRACULOUS and today would argue that I am not fit to view such materials due to poor understanding of the subject.  But I’m going in.

fragments of an unknown teaching
P.D. Ouspensky

“We have already spoken about the meaning of being ‘born’.  This relates to the beginning of a new growth of essence, the beginning of the formation of individuality, the beginning of the appearance of one indivisible I.
“But in order to be able to attain this or at least begin to attain it, a man must die, that is, he must free himself from a thousand petty attachments and identifications which hold him in the position in which he is.  He is attached to everything in his life, attached to his imagination, attached to his stupidity, attached even to his sufferings, possibly to his sufferings more than to anything else.  He must free himself from this attachment.  Attachment to things, identification with things, keep alive a thousand useless I´s in a man.  These I´s must die in order that the big I may be born.  But how can they be made to die?  They do not want to die.  It is at this point that the possibility of awakening comes to the rescue.  To awaken means to realize one’s nothingness, that is to realize one’s complete and absolute mechanicalness and one’s complete and absolute helplessness.  And it is not sufficient to realize it philosophically in word.  It is necessary to realize it in clear, simple, and concrete facts, in one’s own facts.  When a man begins to know himself a little he will see in himself many things that are bound to horrify him.  So long as a man is not horrified at himself he knows nothing about himself.  A man has seen in himself something that horrifies him.  He decides to throw it off, stop it, put an end to it.  But however many efforts he makes, he feels that he cannot do this, that everything remains as it was.  Here he will see his impotence, his helplessness, and his nothingness; or again, when he begins to know himself a man sees that he has nothing that is his own, that is, that all that he has regarded as his own, his views, thoughts, convictions, tastes, habits, even faults and vices, all these are not his own, but have been either formed through imitation or borrowed from somewhere ready-made.  In feeling this a man may feel his nothingness.  And in feeling his nothingness a man should see himself as he really is, not for a second, not for a moment, but constantly, never forgetting it.
“This continual consciousness of his nothingness and of his helplessness will eventually give a man the courage to ‘die’, that is, to die, not merely mentally or in his consciousness, but to die in fact and to renounce actually and forever those aspects of himself which are either unnecessary from the point of view of his inner growth or which hinder it.  These aspects are first of all his ‘false I’. and then all the fantastic ideas about his ‘individuality’, ‘will’, ‘consciousness’, ‘capacity to do’, his powers, initiative, determination, and so on.  (bls. 218)

Inga Hel:  This is how I see it.  And in itself is not anything to add to it.  To gain freedom, we must die the me and all that it contains.  We must see that we are “nothing”, completely helpless. And not just on the surface, in theory, but all throughout, on in reality. When we experience this, it is permanent.

“But in order to see a thing always, one must first of all see it even if only for a second.  All new powers and capacities of realization come always in one and the same way.  At first they appear in the form of flashes at rare and short moments; afterwards they appear more often and last longer until, finally, after very long work they become permanent.  The same thing applies to awakening.  It is impossible to awaken completely all at once.  One must first begin to awaken for short moments.  But one must die all at once and forever after having made a certain effort, having surmounted a certain obstacle, having taken a certain decision from which there is no going back.  This would be difficult, even impossible, for a man, were it not for the slow and gradual awakening which precedes it. (bls. 219)

Inga HelHere we do not agree. In my mind there is no gradual. But on the other, I can say, it’s incredibly easy to wake up for a moment, and then fall back into illusion.  But when we let go of the me, we will not return to our old life.  We die and wake up to a new life. And it’s permanent. Nothing else.

“But there are thousand things which prevent a man from awakening, which keep him in the power of his dreams.  In order to act consciously with the intention of awakening, it is necessary to know the nature of the forces which keep a man in a state of sleep.
“First of all it must be realized that the sleep in which man exist is not normal but hypnotic sleep.  Man is hypnotized and this hypnotic state is continually maintained and strengthened in him.  One would think that there are forces for whom it is useful and profitable to keep man in a hypnotic state and prevent him from seeing the truth and understanding his position.
“There is an Eastern tale which speaks about a very rich magician who had a great many sheep.  But at the same time this magician was very mean.  He did not want to hire shepherds, nor did he want to erect a fence about the pasture where his sheep were grazing.  The sheep consequently often wandered into the forest, fell into ravines, and so on, and above all they ran away, for they knew that the magician wanted their flesh and skins and this they did not like.
“At last the magician found a remedy.  He hypnotized his sheep and suggested to them first of all that they were immortal and that no harm was being done to them when they were skinned, that, on the contrary, it would be very good for them and even pleasant; secondly he suggested that the magician was a good master who loved his flock so much that he was ready to do anything in the world for them; and in the third place he suggested to them that if anything at all were going to happen to them it was not going to happen just then, at any rate not that day, and therefore they had no need to think about it.  Further the magician suggested that they were lions, to others that they were eagles, to others that they were men, and to others that they were magicians.
“And after all this cares and worries about the sheep came to an end.  They never ran away again but quietly awaited the time when the magician would require their flesh and skins.
“This tale is a very good illustration of man’s position. (bls. 219)

Inga Hel:  This story describes quite well the position of man. I see churches, religious organizations, rules and other fellowship of people who hypnotize and deceive people. And men are always a hindrance.

“In so-called ‘occult’ literature you have probably met with the expression ‘Kundalini’, ‘the fire of Kundalini’, or the ‘serpent of Kundalini’.  This expression is often used to designate some kind of strange force which is present in man and which can be awakened.  But none of the known theories gives the right explanation of the force Kundalini.  Sometimes it is connected with sex energy for other purposes.  This latter is entirely wrong because Kundalini can be in anything.  And above all, Kundalini is not anything desirable or useful for man’s development.  It is very curious how these occultists have got hold of the word from somewhere but have completely altered its meaning and from a very dangerous and terrible thing have made something to be hoped for and to be awaited as some blessing.
“In reality Kundalini is the power of imagination, the power of fantasy, which takes the place of a real function.  When a man dreams instead of acting, when his dreams take the place of reality, when a man imagines himself to be an eagle, a lion, or a magician, it is the force of Kundalini acting in him.  Kundalini can act in all centers and with its help all the centers can be satisfied with the imaginary instead of the real.  A sheep which considers itself a lion or a magician lives under the power of Kundalini.
“Kundalini is a force put into men in order to keep them in their present state.  If men could really see their true position and could understand all the horror of it, they would be unable to remain where they are even for one second.  They would begin to seek a way out and they would quickly find it, because there is a way out; but men fail to see it simply because they are hypnotizes.  Kundalini is the force that keeps them in a hypnotic state.  ‘To awaken’ for man means to be ‘dehypnotized’.  In this lies the chief difficulty and in this also lies the guarantee of its possibility, for there is no organic reason for sleep and man can awaken.
“Theoretically he can, but practically it is almost impossible because as soon as a man awaken for a moment and opens his eyes, all the forces that caused him to fall asleep begin to act upon him with tenfold energy and he immediately falls asleep again, very often dreaming that he is awake or is awakening.
“There are certain states in ordinary sleep in which a man wants to awaken but cannot.  He tells himself that he is awake but, in reality, he continues to sleep – and this can happen several times before he finally awakes.  But in ordinary sleep, once he is awake, he is in a different state; in hypnotic sleep the case is otherwise; there are no objective characteristics, at any rate not at the beginning of awakening; a man cannot pinch himself in order to make sure that he is not asleep.  And if, which God forbid, a man has heard anything about objective characteristics, Kundalini at once transforms it all into imagination and dreams. (bls. 220)

Inga Hel:  I‘ve heard people talk about Kundalini and always on a positive note. But according to this Kundalini is a negative force that men are better without than with. Although I have experienced Kundalini on my own body, then my ignorance of the subject is complete so I can say nothing about it.

“Speaking in general, what is necessary to awake a sleeping man?  A good shock is necessary.  But when a man is fast asleep one shock is not enough.  A long period of continual shocks is needed.  Consequently there must be somebody to administer these shocks.  I have said before that if a man wants to awaken he must hire somebody who will keep in shaking him for a long time.  …(bls. 221)

Inga Hel:  When we encounter shock then turns on specific body functions that directs all of our attention to the dangers.
This condition
is called by the so called sympathetic system that acts then as a whole.  It speeds the heart, sends a message to the expansion of blood vessels associated with the skeletal muscle and heart muscle, and contraction of blood vessels adjacent to the skin and digestive system, human sweat and increase will be in certain hormones.  From the kernel of the adrenal function adrenaline flows into the bloodstream and prepares us for emergencies.  Norepinephrine is carried by blood flow and stimulates the pituitary to release a hormone that acts on the adrenal bark. This will stimulate the release of steroids that cause the liver releases sugar so we have enough energy to rapid response.
In this situation
our attention is wide awake.
We’ve all experienced this situation, therefore, we all know how it is to be awake. But this situation can no other cause in us. When we see the reality the me. The dangers posed by it then we are awake.

 “… But you do not understand either what you read or what you write.  You do not even understand what the word understand means.  Yet understanding is essential, and reading can be useful only if you understand what you read.  But, of course, no book can give real preparation. … (bls. 20)
“… But if he can be even to a slight extend sincere with himself and really wants to find the truth, then he can find an exact and infallible basis for judging rightly, first about himself and then about other people.  But the whole point lies in being sincere with oneself.  And this is by no means easy.  People do not understand that sincerity must be learned. … (bls. 149)…
“The first and most important feature of groups is the fact that groups are not constituted according to the wish and choice of their members.  Groups are constituted by the teacher, who selects types which, from the point of view of his aims, can be useful to one another.
“No work of groups is possible without a teacher. …
“General conditions at the beginning of the work are usually of the following kind.  First of all it is explained to all the members of a group that they must keep secret everything they hear or learn in the group and not only while they are members of it but forever afterwards. … (bls. 222-223)

 IngaHel:  To see the reality of the me, experiencing the nothing, cannot be learned.  It’s something that everybody has to do alone by themselves.  Nobody can do it for us.  And we are our own guiding light, to believe other, or follow the light from other, is walking in the dark.
There exists no method, no teacher to guide us, no secrets. We cannot learn the truth. We only turn from illusion to reality.  And the only thing needed is honesty. That’s all.
The truth is for
everyone, all the time. The truth is. Anyone who says otherwise cannot have experienced death.  Anybody who says freedom lie in death of the me and at the same time that it will be learned gradually, under the guidance of teachers has never experienced the truth in himself.  For him, the truth is nothing more than what he has read or heard.  And that is an illusion.

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