When I was younger I sometimes heard said, “Inga keep little bit of the joy to use when sorrow knocks on your door.” Now you know, presumably, how cheerful I am, by nature. But the reality is that I am extreme in both directions, in joy and sorrow. When these two knock on my door then they are welcomed with great and dramatic behavior and then I sometimes hear someone say, “now save some for later use.” No doubt it would be better that we could save some, but that is not so.
Sorrow and joy go hand in hand and cannot be apart from each other, and sometimes we just want to jump into sorrow, it relieves the tension and all kinds of other, which is good to get rid of with tears and grief, even anger, so it is quite safe to greet Ms. Sorrow when she knocks on the door and the same applies to Ms. Joy.
But actually, it is just the compulsive who cannot stop the two, sorrow and joy, and show them therefor just as they are, or rather as they themselves are, with their compulsive behavior, extreme happiness and extreme sorrow.
Most people put on a mask of moderation, I have one like that, it is called Ms. Jolly, I set it up when someone asks, “how are you, is all good for you and yours?” Then she answers, “everything is just fine” and behind the mask is perhaps frightened individual who cries silently because Ms. Grief is visiting. But even though Ms. Joy is present then the mask MS. Jolly is still there, because she always answers according to what the questioner wants to hear, “sure, everything is good and everyone just fine.” It is the self-response, very convenient. We honestly do not want to hear about all the problems others are dealing with, it reminds us so uncomfortably of our own problems.
But you know, there is no need to choose between the two, joy and sorrow, we can never manage them, nor choose whichever comes and goes. That equals not that we are bound by these extremes to love them both alternating and evenly. Trying to control what happens is fear, when we want to choose one over the other, it is because we are insecure and scared and then we put on the masks. We all have many masks, not just Ms. or Mr. Jolly, there are also sweet Miss and Mr., Ms. and Mr. Efficiency and all kinds of misses and misters.
We can never exclude the two, grief and joy, from our lives, it is just nonsense to make such a statement.. What we can do, however, is to love them both at the same time, by combining them into one, then they are called balance, which is peace and tranquility and then it does not matter which of them comes to visit, as they are both welcomed with tranquility and peace. Then we accept whatever happens, whether we define it, good or bad, and do not try to escape it, or change it in some way. If they come with difficulties, we solve it with tranquility and peace Then we just are, in peace, then we are peace.